Separation anxiety
6-minute read
Key facts
- Separation anxiety is normal in young children, but it can become a problem if it doesn't go away or gets worse.
- Separation anxiety disorder can affect both children and adults.
- If you or your child have separation anxiety disorder, being away from loved ones, even for a short time, can be very distressing.
- See your doctor if you think you or your child may have separation anxiety disorder.
- Separation anxiety disorder is usually treated with psychological therapy.
What is separation anxiety?
It's normal for young children to be upset when away from their parents or carers.
Sometimes, separation anxiety can become a type of anxiety disorder called ‘separation anxiety disorder'. Both children and adults can develop separation anxiety disorder.
What are the symptoms of separation anxiety?
Children often feel anxious when they:
- are around new people
- have a change in routine
- are away from home
When separating from parents or carers, children with separation anxiety may be:
- clingy
- cry
- have a tantrum
- complain of headaches and tummy pain
Symptoms of separation anxiety disorder can include:
- feeling very distressed when separated from loved ones or being away from home
- feeling very distressed at just the thought of being separated
- taking a longer time than expected to settle after separation and on reunion
- worrying that something bad will happen to your loved ones while you are apart
- avoiding being apart from loved ones — including refusal to sleep away from home or away from parents
- nightmares about separation
- feeling panic at the time of separation
This ongoing, intense distress and anxiety may stop you from doing things in your life. It can interfere with schooling, work or socialising.
CHECK YOUR SYMPTOMS — Use the Symptom Checker and find out if you need to seek medical help.
What causes separation anxiety?
In young children, separation anxiety is a common part of growing up. Most children grow out of separation anxiety by learning that their loved ones return and they are safe when apart.
Both children and adults can develop separation anxiety disorder.
Separation anxiety disorder is less common in adults. It can start in adulthood or persist from childhood. Separation anxiety disorder in adults can be caused or triggered by:
- heightened separation anxiety during childhood
- stressful events
- trauma
- loss
You may have a higher chance of having separation anxiety disorder if you have a family history of this condition.
When should I see my doctor?
See your doctor if your separation anxiety is:
- not going away or not getting better with time
- getting worse
- interfering with your daily life and friendships
If you're worried about your child's separation anxiety, you can talk to:
- your doctor
- a paediatrician
- your child's school counsellor
If you think you have separation anxiety, see your doctor. They can give you a mental health plan and refer you to a psychologist.
For advice and to get connected to local mental health services, call Head to Health on 1800 595 212. Check the operating times.
FIND A HEALTH SERVICE — The Service Finder can help you find doctors, pharmacies, hospitals and other health services.
How is separation anxiety disorder diagnosed?
Your doctor will ask about your symptoms and how long you have had them. They will ask about your general health and recent events in your life.
You may have separation anxiety disorder if:
- your anxiety interferes with your life, and your loved ones' lives
- you have more severe anxiety than what would be expected for for your age
- your symptoms persist (for at least 4 weeks in children, or around 6 months in young people and adults)
- you are very distressed by the anxiety
ASK YOUR DOCTOR — Preparing for an appointment? Use the Question Builder for general tips on what to ask your GP or specialist.
How is separation anxiety disorder treated?
There are treatments available for separation anxiety disorder in children, young people and adults.
Psychological therapy
Psychological treatment is the main treatment for children with mild separation anxiety.
You may be offered family therapy and other types of behavioural therapy.
Medicines for separation anxiety disorder
Sometimes, medicines such as antidepressants can be prescribed for severe symptoms of separation anxiety disorder. Medicines are not suitable for children younger than 6 years of age.
What are the complications of separation anxiety?
Having untreated separation anxiety can limit your opportunities for socialising, study and work.
It's thought that separation anxiety disorder during childhood may be associated with panic disorder or agoraphobia later in life.
Many adults with separation anxiety disorder have other conditions, such as other anxiety disorders or depression.
Resources and support
Visit Beyond Blue for information on anxiety or support — call a counsellor on 1300 22 4636 or chat online.
Call Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 for support for kids, teens, young adults and their parents.
Call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Find support and more information about separation anxiety from This Way Up.
For advice and to get connected to local mental health services, call Head to Health on 1800 595 212. Check the operating times.
Support for carers
If you are caring for a person with separation anxiety, it can be challenging. You can visit:
- Lifeline website for a toolkit for Carers of People with Mental Illness, or call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
- Mental Health Carers Australia website or call their support line on 1300 554 660.
- Carer Gateway website for tips on Caring for Someone with Mental Illness, or call on 1800 422 737.
You can also call the healthdirect helpline on 1800 022 222 (known as NURSE-ON-CALL in Victoria). A registered nurse is available to speak with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.