Difficulty reaching female orgasm
Key facts
- It’s common for females to not always have orgasms during sexual activity.
- Anorgasmia is the medical term for not having orgasms.
- Even if you used to have orgasms you might have times when they are absent.
- If you are unhappy about difficulty reaching orgasm talk to your doctor about possible causes.
- Some people find it helpful to see a counsellor for sex education.
What is difficulty reaching female orgasm?
It’s common for people not to have orgasms during sex. About 1 in 3 females don’t have orgasms.
Sometimes people who have orgasms go through periods where orgasms are less frequent or absent. Whilst it is quite normal to have difficulty reaching orgasm, it can be upsetting.
This article relates to people who were assigned female at birth. A link to information for people transitioning is provided in the Resources and support section below.
What symptoms are related to difficulty reaching female orgasm?
Anorgasmia (lack of orgasms) might be part of a difficulty in relaxing or ‘letting go’, sexually and more generally.
You can enjoy a sexual relationship without having an orgasm. But you might find this makes you feel unhappy or frustrated.
CHECK YOUR SYMPTOMS — Use the Symptom Checker and find out if you need to seek medical help.
What causes difficulty in reaching female orgasm?
There are many things that can cause difficulty in reaching female orgasm.
Some possible psychological or relationship causes of difficulty reaching orgasm are:
- poor communication about sexual needs
- not being stimulated enough
- not being stimulated in a way that works for you
- worries or fears about having sex
- lack of self confidence
- lack of trust or respect
- relationship problems
- history of trauma or unwanted sexual contact
Some physical causes of difficulty reaching orgasm may include:
- hormone change — for example after childbirth, perimenopause or after menopause
- certain medical conditions — including thyroid problems, stress, anxiety and depression
- painful sex
- taking some medicines — such as antidepressants and antipsychotic medicines
- use of recreational drugs, alcohol or smoking
- growing older
How is the cause of difficulty reaching female orgasm diagnosed?
Your doctor may ask you questions about your sex life, relationships and medical history.
They may also examine you or order some tests if they think a health condition is part of the cause.
Your doctor may refer you to a sexual therapist or counsellor who deals with sexual issues.
When should I see my doctor?
You should visit your doctor if you have any concerns about your sexual performance. This is especially important if it has changed for no apparent reason.
Where can I get advice about female orgasm?
You can talk to someone about what it means to have a healthy sex life. Especially if you have never had an orgasm or you are not sure if you can orgasm.
Some options are:
- your doctor
- a psychologist
- a relationship counsellor
- a sexual therapist
ASK YOUR DOCTOR — Preparing for an appointment? Use the Question Builder for general tips on what to ask your GP or specialist.
FIND A HEALTH SERVICE — The Service Finder can help you find doctors, pharmacies, hospitals and other health services.
How is difficulty reaching female orgasm treated?
Self-care at home
You may want to try some self-stimulation (masturbation). When you know how to please yourself, you can share your knowledge with your partner.
Some people like to use sex toys or vibrators, to masturbate. This may be alone or with a partner during sex.
Everyone is different and will be turned on or enjoy sex in different ways.
Medicines for difficulty reaching female orgasm
Your doctor will treat any underlying medical conditions.
They will also review your medicines in case they are affecting your ability to enjoy sexual activity.
Other treatment options
Mindfulness therapy may help if you have stopped being able to reach orgasm.
Some people find couples counselling or sex therapy helpful.
Can problems with female orgasm be prevented?
Leading a healthy life may improve your chances of having a healthy sex life. You can try to:
- maintain a healthy weight
- reduce the amount of alcohol you drink
- not use illegal drugs
- reduce stress
- take regular exercise
- cut down or quit if you smoke
Resources and support
You can read more about female sexual problems.
Visit Jean Hailes or the Royal Women’s Hospital website to learn more about female health issues.
You can search for a sex therapist at the Society of Australian Sexologists website.
Trans and gender diverse people can find resources about sexual health at the TransHub website.
You can also call the healthdirect helpline on 1800 022 222 (known as NURSE-ON-CALL in Victoria). A registered nurse is available to speak with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Learn more here about the development and quality assurance of healthdirect content.
Last reviewed: May 2023
